So yesterday I made the mistake of listening to my Nelly CD, "Nellyville," and it sparked a whole blog entry. Have you ever listened to the song, "Pimp Juice?" Well, here's my favorite line:
"You're not Russian, so baby, why are you rushin'?..."
Pimp Juice by Nelly
Wow...if there's anything I can't stand, it's rhyming a word with the same word. Honestly. But it got me thinking about all the crappy song lyrics that are out there. So here is a list of songs that come to mind, along with the quality lyrics:
"You're out of this world, except you're not green..."
Nothin' Else by Justin Timberlake
Come on, Justin...I hope you're kidding.
"You got a...Prada...bag with a lotta...stuff in it..."
Gettin' Jiggy Wit It by Will Smith
Will Smith sucks. Period.
"Hold me like the river Jordan..."
Will You Be There? by Michael Jackson
What?
"They're justified and they're ancient, and they drive an ice cream van."
Justified and Ancient by KLF
I really used to like this song, too.
"Her placenta falls to the floor"
Lightning Crashes by Live
Placentas should not be allowed in song lyrics. Along with deep fried chicken:
"Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken?
Your best friend always stickin' up for you even when I know you're wrong
Drops of Jupiter by Train
"Only time will tell if we stand the test of time."
Why Can't This Be Love by Van Halen
Good call, Captain Obvious.
"You taste like honey, honey.
Tell me can I be your honey?"
Disease by Matchbox 20
Once again, don't use the same word to rhyme with. And I just hate Matchbox 20.
"It seems like everybody's got a plan.
It's kinda like Nashville. . .with a tan."
Lullaby by Shawn Mullins
Self-explanatory.
"Can you pay my automobills?"
Bills Bills Bills by Destiny's Child
Don't make up words, especially if they're lame.
"I don't know what's gotten into me,
but I kinda think I know what it is...
I think I'm in love."
I Think I'm in Love by Jessica Simpson
Uhh...I thought you just said you DIDN'T know what's gotten into you...but apparently you do. Make up your mind.
"Hip Hop Marmalade spic And span,
Met you one summer and it all began
Your the best girl that I ever did see,
The great Larry Bird Jersey 33
When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet
Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets
Call me Willy Whistle cause I can't speak baby
Somethin in your eyes went and drove me crazy
Now I can't forget you and it makes me mad,
Left one day and never came back
Stayed all summer then went back home,
Macauly Culkin wasn't Home Alone
Fell deep in love, but now we ain't speakin
Michael J Fox was Alex P Keaton
When I met you I said my name was Rich
You look like a girl from Abercrombie and Fitch
Summer Girls by LFO
I had to put the whole verse because it's craptacular.
Well, that's it for now. As I listen to more music with my ears tuned in for bad lyrics, I'm sure there will be more. Feel free to comment with more quality lyrics...
2 comments:
Jill-
Gavin Degraw, "I Don't Want To Be"
"I'm surrounded by liars, everywhere I turn. I'm surrounded by imposters, everywhere I turn. I'm surrounded by an energy crisis, everywhere I turn."
Rhyming words with the same word, it's just wrong.
Andi
Did you ever walk outside
And notice that they're really cute
They like to fly around and eat your fruit
(Cute and fruit? Good rhyme.)
But it's okay 'cause they're cute
(Oh, cute and cute! Even better!)
Yeah, it's okay 'cause they're cute
(Cute, cute and cute! That's even more advanced! We got the poet laureate here.)
- Emily
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